Everybody Ought to Have a Maid [From A Funny Thing Happened on the Way]

Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a working girl
Everybody ought to have a lurking girl
To putter around the house
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a menial
Consistantly congenial
And quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious
Tidying up the dishes,
Neat as a pin
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Sweeping out
Sleeping in

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who you hire when you're short of help
To offer you the sort of help
You never get from a spouse
Fluttering up the stairway
Shuttering up the windows
Cluttering up the bedroom
Buttering up the master
Puttering all around the house
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious
Tidying up the dishes
Neat as a pin
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful
Sweeping out
Sleeping in

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who in fetching you your slipper will
Be winsome as a whipporwill
And graceful as a grouse
Skittering down the hallway
Flittering through the parlor
Tittering in the pantry
Littering up the bedroom

Puttering all around the house

A maid?

A maid

A maid

A maid
Everybody ought to have a maid
Everybody ought to have a serving-girl
A loyal and unswerving girl
To putter around the house
Oh, oh,

Think of her at the dustbin
'Specially when she's just been
Traipsing about

Oh, oh,

Wouldn't she be delightful
Living in,

Giving out

Everybody ought to have a maid
Daintily collecting bits of paper n' strings,
Appealing in her apron strings
Being only in her Blouse

Pattering through the attic

Chattering in the cellar

Clattering in the kitchen

Flattering in the bedroom

Puttering all around the house
The house
The house
The house

A maid?

A maid

A maid

A maid

Everybody ought to have a maid
Someone who's efficient and reliable
Obedient and pliable,
And quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be so nimble,
Fiddling with her thimble
Mending her gown
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful

Cleaning up

Leaning down

Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who'll be busy as a bumblebee
And even if you grumble, be
As graceful as a grouse

Wriggling in the anteroom

Jiggling in the living room

Giggling in the dining room

Wiggling in the other rooms

Puttering all around the house
The house
The house
The house